THE NEW HOME FOR "PAETER'S BRAIN"!

Paeter is no longer posting to this blog. His new reviews and thoughts on geek entertainment (including all those previously posted here!) can now be found conveniently organized and archived at The Spirit Blade Underground!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Most Poorly Handled Character In Comics


Aquaman, ladies and gentlemen! He swims fast and talks to fish. Yes, Aquaman! He's the king of the ocean, so you better be nice when you talk to him or he'll have his servants beat you up.
Yes, I know I'm oversimplifying his heroic traits, but come on DC. When Hawkman got revamped by Geoff Johns, we got a brilliant angsty love story, Nth Metal that can really do some cool wacked out stuff, and a gritty, barbarian warrior attitude that made a "dude with wings" pretty cool.
Aquaman has even more name recognition, but no revamp has pulled off making this guy as awesome as he SHOULD be. Some really clever writing gave him purpose outside the water in the very first story arc of JLA in the 90's. But without some power revamping, no amount of creative writing can keep him consistantly relevant out of the water.
I propose that during the upcoming "Final Crisis", we ditch the new aquaman (if he's not dead already) and get the real Arthur back in there with the power to control water. Imagine that for a second. Not only could he swim faster than ever (propelled by the water itself!) but he could pull off crazy Magneto-like stuff on anything with a little H20 in the mix. With a name that basically means "waterman", Arthur should be no less than "god of all things water".
How we get there, I don't really care. A gift from Poseiden, or Tempest (Aqualad's grown up name) could be killed (if he hasn't been already) and his powers somehow transferred and amplified. We're talking about comic books, so anything is possible. But please, do SOMETHING! I've seen this character flop too many times (and the last two relaunch attempts I invested money following) and made fun of all too often. Does he deserve it? Of course, if the status quo remains. But it need not be that way.

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Dark Ritual Trailer Is Here!!



Okay, I don't usually directly plug Spirit Blade Productions stuff here, but I've gotta make an exception today.

At long last, the exciting trailer for "Spirit Blade: Dark Ritual" has arrived!


You can listen to it using the player in the left sidebar over at http://spiritblade.typepad.com/, or download it by visiting: http://www.spiritblade.net/site.cfm/sbp/projects


You can also download and check out Ryan's awesome artwork for the CD cover at: http://www.spiritblade.net/site.cfm/sbp/media
You'll find it in the "Bonus Material" section of that page.


Help us spread the word! The darkness is coming, and "no one is safe..."

Friday, April 25, 2008

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (Review)


Ben Stein (Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Win Ben Stein's Money, Visine Commercials) acted as front man for this documentary about the theory of Intelligent Design and the American scientific community. At 90 minutes, this film briefly makes its point clear, although wanders off center for a few minutes.

Stein spotlights scientists with strong credibility who have been in some way shut out (fired, denied tenure, blacklisted) from the scientific community because of their desire to openly discuss the concept of Intelligent Design. Throughout the film we see scientists of all philosophical backgrounds (Christian, Jewish, Agnostic, Humanist) discussing the barrier they have experienced regarding a public dialogue over Intelligent Design. Demonstrating this trend is the film's strong point, since this entire, complex issue CANNOT be resolved in a 90 minute documentary.

Although "Expelled" spends some time validating the theory of Intelligent Design and clearly differentiating it from "Creationsim", it does this only enough to demonstrate that the theory is sound enough to deserve continuing, open and reason-based discussion.

Intercut with vintage film clips, the film has its share of humor and Stein brings his dry, sometimes awkward charm to the table. However, some of these clips may be seen as oversimplified humorous jabs at the Neo-Darwinist establishment. (Entertaining in film, but not a good way to promote calm and reasoned discussion.) Likewise, the film wanders off-center in discussing the sociological ramifications of applied Darwinism, using the Holocaust as a weighty example. While the point made is a good one, it seemed devised to provoke an emotional reaction, which an Evolutionist will likely find illogical and even offensive.

The main point of the movie remains: The American scientific community is largely unwilling to openly and rationally discuss the concept of Intelligent Design. In most cases, the scientists and employers responsible for firing or otherwise blacklisting those interested in Intelligent Design, did not come forward to tell their side of the story. Normally, this could be seen as a weak point in the film's argument regarding the closed minds of the scientific community. However, since the movie's chief point is that scientists are refusing to speak openly about the issue, it works in direct support of the argument. True, we have to admit that there may be another side to some of these stories. But until the leaders and former employers of these blacklisted scientists come out and speak openly, as requested by the film itself, the point made by the film remains unchallenged.

Theists will no doubt want to see this film. I'd also recommend Agnostics, Evolutionists, and anyone else to see this film, if for no other reason than to understand what "Intelligent Design" does and does not claim. If your impression of the concept connects it automatically to the Bible or Christian Theology, this film will probably be eye opening.

Quality: 7.5
Veracity: 9.0

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

New Gods Versus Solar


SPOILERS for DC's "COUNTDOWN SERIES"!!


All I really know about Jim Starlin as a writer is based on his work for "Solar: Man Of The Atom". I'm still collecting back issues of the early 90's comic book series that he started, and even though he was off the book after about 10 issues, what he started there has kept me interested through the first 20 issues.

I can't say the same of his work on "Death Of The New Gods".

Here I thought the major change in status quo regarding these classic characters would be told in the pages of this mini-series. But in "Countdown #2" we witness the death of Darkseid! I've been collecting this (let's face it) BORING mini from issue one and the best conceivable moment the series could have had happens in another book!!!???

I'm two pages into the final issue and I don't care how good it is; next week I'm taking the whole miniseries to my used bookstore to get some trade credit. I've already dropped "The Flash", DC. And you've wounded me again. Don't plan on your next crossover spinoff making money from me.

(yes, I did say "spinoff" because of COURSE I'm still going to buy the Final Crisis crossover. I'm a DC geek after all.)

Monday, April 21, 2008

BLEH...

Sinus infection......fe3el ble3ehg.
take moxiciillla....

must spleeep....

ZZzzzz........

Friday, April 18, 2008

A Dangerous Game



Okay, so I can now see why a reviewer at Gamespot called this a "dangerous game" for the industry. He said it may be the last RPG you'll need to buy for a very long time. I think he may be right.

Sure, I know that Neverwinter Nights 2 is out and already has at least one or two expansions, but I don't make a real effort to keep my PC up to date for the latest games. In this case, that worked in my favor! NWN has been out long enough that the resources for it have really built up!

At the "Neverwinter Vault" website there are HUNDREDS of new adventures created by users that I can take advantage of for FREE! Some will undoubtedly suck, but a user rating system goes a long way toward sifting out the crap.

My friend Mark is pushing me to get a 360 so I can join his particular flavor of nerd-fest online, but (WHOA!! I was just typing this sentence and Mark called to tell me he bought "Descent" to play with his girlfriend! Suh-WEET!!) this game is likely to keep me busy for a LONG time until then.

Speaking of which, what am blogging for when I could be putting bloody chunks of dragon on a dungeon wall somewhere??

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

In The Name Of The King (DVD Review)



It should come as no surprise that Uwe Boll's latest "video game to movie" effort has fallen short. I'm not looking to pound on him. (If you feel like doing that, more power to you. There's an interesting petition floating around the net you might want to search for and check out.)


No, I want to try and figure out the mystery behind him a little. Why do producers keep giving him movies to direct? With consistantly poor reviews, you would think that producers would choose a different director if they want to make some money. Then again, does anyone know if his movies are making money? I went over to IMDB to try and solve the mystery.


The website gives production budgets and box office sales for nearly every movie listed, but without knowing the exchange rate for various countries around the world, I wasn't able to figure out how well Boll's movies did in the end. I suppose it's possible that he's able to make enough money from reluctant but obligated video game fans and the few people that like his flicks to make producers some money. But what about the others involved?


Take the cast of "Dungeon Siege" for example. Not an A-list name among them, but a LOT of very recognizeable B-listers. Jason Stathum has shown he can carry his own action flicks and certainly doesn't need to seek out Boll for work. Ron Perlman either does artsy independent stuff or "Hellboy", so this was an odd choice for him. John Rhys-Davies, although a fine actor, has chosen pretty sub-par stuff since LOTR. Ray Liota's an okay actor, but he should have recognized that his hint of New York accent wouldn't gel with the part of "evil sorcerer".


What is it that enchanted these actors to be a part of this movie? Outside of a paycheck, I can't imagine. In the "Behind The Scenes" feature of the DVD, we basically see a montage of video clips from various shooting days on the movie. There's very little talking that is loud enough to be understood and certainly no interviews with actors talking about their "experience making the movie". Kristanna Loken obviously enjoys working with him. This will be at least her third Uwe Boll movie, with Bloodrayne 3 in production now.


So I guess I should talk about the movie, huh?


There's nothing horribly offensive for lack of quality in this movie, it's just a let down from beginning to end. It reminds me of the quality of sword and sorcery flicks in the mid 80's, but with CGI. So maybe that will work for you, in which case, enjoy with my blessings. The CGI was actually pretty cool looking in a few shots. Mostly the "magic effects" were enjoyable. Much of the green screen work fell short. Boll certainly made use of some LOTR fantasy movie devices like sweeping helicopter shots and rainy night-time battles. The monster costumes could have been better, or lit to avoid showcasing their flaws. (They looked best at night in the rain.)


The costumes and set design were conceptually cool, but executed cheaply. The script was weak, with exposition that set up nothing. The plot was also contrived and the acting performances were forced all around. There were far too many moments that were supposed to be dramatic and emotionally impactful, but that weren't earned through polished, invested performances.


As for meaningful discussion, there may be something in there, but the quality of the movie won't lead anybody to think about this flick after the credits start rolling, so I won't even rate it.


Here's my theory: I don't think Uwe Boll should quit making movies. But he needs some help. First off, a scene coach to direct the actors. You can almost see them asking "is this what I should be doing?" with several of their lines. Boll, like George Lucas, obvious has no ability to coach and direct actors.


Second, give him movies with more focus on the visual and less on the emotional. Even with a scene coach, Uwe Boll doesn't do well with talking people in the frame. Give him action and special effects.


So maybe he should produce, direct second unit, or supervise visual effects. Call me a rebellious non-comformist for saying this, but I think there may be a place for Uwe Boll in Hollywood. Probably not in the director's chair, but the man obviously knows how to work a producer for cash. That's a job somewhere...


Quality: 5.0
Veracity: N/A

Monday, April 14, 2008

30 Years of Geek!



Last Friday I turned 30 and spent the entire weekend celebrating! Thursday night, my friend Mark came in from out of town to play "Descent" with me all weekend. We started Thursday night and with only a few breaks, played until late Sunday afternoon.

My wife also made my FAVORITE meal on Friday: Lasagna and seven-layer salad!!

Despite having all weekend to play, Mark and I still decided to skip a few remaining quests from the "Altar of Despair" expansion pack so that we could get started on the massive, game-changing "Road To Legend" expansion! (I'll definately need to get on the message boards over at Fantasy Flight Games to ask a few rules questions. Wow the changes are cool!)

The birthday celebration won't officially be over until next August, when I attend GenCon with my wife. (The trip is my birthday present from her.)

As for being 30, I've been asked if I feel any different or if I'm bummed. I'll be honest and say that the week before I had a couple doubts now and then, but having passed the thresh-hold now, I can see that my original expectations were correct: It's the prime of life!

After all, most of the classic superheroes started their careers at around 30 and are currently assumed to be in their mid-30's. So I'm standing next to legends!

See ya!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Doom Remix?

I'm getting ready for the "Gameathon" I'll be hosting at my house at the beginning of May. One of the games we'll be playing is "Doom: The Boardgame". I went to Boardgamegeeks.com to see if there were any user-created goodies or modifications I could check out to spice up the game a little, and I found a link to this website:
http://doom.ocremix.org/main.html

A group of passionate musicians decided to re-mix the soundtrack to the classic Doom PC game. I've never played the PC version, but what little I heard of the re-mix isn't bad! It's also FREE to download, so if you're a Doom fan you probably owe it to yourself to check this out. I'll probably be downloading the project for background music while we play the boardgame, but you may just dig the tunes.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Superhero Nightmares?



Sunday night I dreamed I was Bruce Wayne in a tux. On my way home, I realized that Heath Ledger, as the Joker, was slowly following me, walking from a distance. Pretty creepy. Good thing Commissioner Gordon had the Batmobile in a parking garage for me to "borrow".

Joker kept coming, now holding a balloon and saying "I've got a telegram for you." That's when you KNOW things are creepy and messed up. I mean, who gets telegrams anymore?

Although he jumped on the back of the Batmobile, I managed to swerve enough to lose him once I got the dumb thing going. I woke up VERY creeped out, but it was the kind of nightmare I wanted to go back to a little. After all, if I could just get to my suit in the Batcave...

Last night, I dreamed my wife and son were in danger from something. (Not sure what, but I knew it would require more than I had to offer.) So I asked some generic politicians nearby, "Isn't there anything we can do?" One of them pointed and said, "Dr. Bruce Banner is the only one that can do anything now." Banner's wife was nearby and so I quickly said, "what do I do?"

"You have to make him angry. Call him a coward," she added as I ran off toward him. (Guess she would know which buttons to push, huh?) So I run up to the guy and start punching him and beating on him screaming, "You fuzzy coward! You fuzzy worthless coward!!" (Only I wasn't saying "fuzzy".) Then he turned into a blond woman(his wife) just before becoming the Hulk. Dream over.

So I guess there are a couple movies I must be looking forward to, huh?