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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Final Crisis Sucks




If this series is any indication of what more "crisis" crossovers would be like, I'm glad we're calling this the "final" one.


After a confusing 7 issue arc, I sat down and read all 7 comics back to back to see if the story made any more sense.


Not really.


This is possibly the most self-indulgent comic book story I have ever read. Morrison juggles a ton of characters that are either obscure (even to a real DC fanatic like me!) or brand new without any explanation or reminder of who they are and where they came from. The only way to make sense of this series would be to get a list of every DC comic book Grant Morrison has ever read amd study them so that we can know what he obviously thinks we should know about all these Z-list characters.


Kalibak is a talking tiger? The Atomic Knights are riding around on giant dalmations? Freaking CAPTAIN CARROT??? With the presence of Geoff Johns, it's become cool recently to take outdated, once goofy character concepts and make them cool again. But guess what? Not everybody can do that well, and not every concept can be made cool.


This story was a mess from beginning to end. Maybe those involved convinced themselves that people would dig it because it's confusing in a "profound, post-modern" kinda way. But y'know what? They should have asked the readers after two or three issues and trusted the people putting down their money for this stuff.


I'll always love Morrison's incredible JLA run, but he is now on my poop list. And Dan Didio (Head Honcho at DC) should have vetoed this crazy smear of nonsense, so he's on the list, too. Countdown, Batman RIP and now Final Crisis. That's three strikes, Danny boy. Time to get a new job.


I will still recommend the mini-series' spinning out of Final Crisis, as they have very little connection to the main story and therefore are not easily tainted by it. Revelations has been very cool, Legion Of Three Worlds as well, and Rogues Revenge was awesome.


And yet, I hearby put DC on notice. Didio either gets a new job or openly apologizes and acknowledges his bad instincts for the last two years. Until that happens, DC crossovers and "big events" will be Trade Paperback purchases only for me. IF I read consistantly good reviews.


And now, I close this time of ranting with words designed to express the utter outrage and frustration I feel, that those closest to me will understand the magnitutde of...


"I wonder what Marvel is up to..."

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can't forget about the abysmal weekly "trinity" series. Superman/Batman: Great! Superman/Batman/Wonderwoman: Should be even better! How could anyone blunder that title?!

I suppose that's what you get for posting the term for the ultimate Truth overtop a bunch of superheroes.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more. 52 was a rare "weekly series" gem. They tried to make lightning strike twice with Countdown and failed. I gave them one issue of Trinity to dazzle me, and they failed to convince me it would go anywhere worthwhile. So I didn't follow it after that. And yeah, I think the title "Trinity" is cute, but severely over the top and presumptuous.

Anonymous said...

Hmm . . . I gave "Trinity" a six-week shot . . . there's $20 I should have flushed down the toliet.

Stephen said...

I have to admit that I found your site by googling "final crisis sucked".

I just didn't get it. I felt like whole pages of exposition were missing. There was no meaningful dialogue.

I'm baffled. There were some cool visuals and story hook ideas...the dissolution of the Monitors in the orrery was kind of cool...but...eh.

Are Hawkman and Hawkgirl dead? When will the Martian Manhunter return? Should I care?

The bit with Batman in the cave was clever. But overall...just...WTF?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by, Stephen! Did you see my post titled "The Real Final Crisis" about "Legion Of Three Worlds"? I would recommend checking it out, even if you're not a legion fan. It's a much beter continuation of the Infinite Crisis storyline and actually makes sense!

Matt Alley said...

I realize this is an older post, but I have to give props for what you wrote.

Final Crisis was a load of crap. It solved nothing except to screw up the entire DCU and will now make it to easy for writers to find loopholes in order to create whatever kind of continuity they please. Maybe I'm off the mark, but I felt it undid everything that the Original Crisis fixed.

Again, loved the post.

Paeter said...

Matt, I couldn't agree with you more. Let's hope "Final Crisis" goes the way of the oh so momentous "Millenium" crossover event of the 80's and gets swept under the rug and forgotten for being so terrible.

mad to the bone said...

AND WHAT ABOUT Superman using heat vision to keep his wife alive???

WHOA!

well, I landed here exactly like Stephen, and need to say:
DC robbed me of a lot of money... I did subscribe to all 3 strikes....and more!

-Countdown: disgusting
-Batman RIP: horrible, and a special bonus here, because I think Tony daniel is ONE OF THE WORST artists I have ever seen, his art looks really bad. Why would DC do this to Batman fans??
-Trinity: awful as it seems, I wont even read them (I got them all stashed)

I wonder how they manage to keep up with such a load of crap.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for piping in, "mad"!
I was just thinking about Final Crisis again last night as I went through old books looking for something to read.

Have you seen my most recent post about the change-ups happening at DC? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! That goes for Nathan, Stephen and Matt, too!

-Paeter

Khiuri Zucula said...

I'm Mozambican. Do people have any idea what I have to do to get my hands on comic books? Wait for my mom to get back from the States, order from Amazon, drive to Johannesburg. It's not easy.

And I went through it all through 52, through Countdown, for WHAT!!! For the most random, incomplete, obscure crap. And you know what? The other Crises were pretty good, with Infinite Crises being one of the best (remember the Flashes whooping S-boy Prime? Or S-boy Prime vs. Superboy? Incredible). But what pisses me off the most, is that all the previous issues weren't to advance the plot. It was just for sales. That much is totally clear.

Identity Crisis, and the four companions to Infinite Crises really advanced the plot of I.C., and they also took from Crisis on Infinite Earths in a great way.

And I actually dug Batman R.I.P. right up until the very end (not a very satisfying resolution). But the whole stream of consciousness was actually keeping in line with some Batman tropes (he's constantly fighting internal battles).

Anyway, I actually also found this site by googling Final Crisis sucked. I hope DC got some serious backlash over this bull.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

If you scan through some of my more recent posts (the last few months) I found some audio of what what really sounds like an apology from Dan Didio regarding Final Crisis.

So I think he got the message. And so far I think "Blackest Night" is awesome. But of course, Geoff Johns is writing it.

If you check out my podcast episode from the same week as this original post, you can hear my full rant on DC, Didio and Final Crisis. Thanks for stopping by, Khiuri!

waldek petrusowski said...

Final Crisis indeed sucks, after reading and bearlly being able to put together what the hell is going on, i can not stop think that people who wrotte it didn't either.

Anonymous said...

I wonder the same thing, Waldek. It seems to be popular among some artists to create art that is purposefully devoid of logic and meaning, as though this is somehow more deep, artistic or "profound".

I recently watched the movie "Southland Tales" for the first time and it reminded me a LOT of Final Crisis. Weird for weirdness' sake and the creator's self-gratification.

I don't know if that's what was going on with Morrison, but that's the impression his work has left me with here.

Anonymous said...

Also found this site by searching "final crisis sucked" lol

Paeter Frandsen said...

Wow! Two years later and you and I are still bitter enough to be thinking about this!

How could DC have gone so wrong on this one that it leaves us scarred for years! ;-)

Stephen Banks said...

Having been absent from the DC Universe for over 10 years I eased back into it by reading some of the TPB starting with Infinite Crisis. I enjoyed that series and many of the tie ins. I then moved to Final Crisis and read some of the lead ups. After reading the first 2 issues - I boggled. This was terrible - written so very poorly I was stunned. Morrison locks out the DC trinity in the first few issues and we're treated to 3rd and 4th stringers like Tawny the Tiger - god it hurts to even type that nMe.

In desperation, I turned to google to see if anyone else felt this way. I floundered about what to search for. Final Crisis critical reviews, summary, overview?

No, only one phrase summed up what I felt about this awful series.

"final crisis sucks"

.... And I found this blog - grins. Here here to your summary. I feel 100% the same way.

Paeter Frandsen said...

Couldn't agree more, Stephen. If you search "final crisis" on my blog you'll find a post where I point out that Dan Didio does seem to have "apologized" for Final Crisis, but you'll have to be the final judge on whether it was genuine or not. And as far as Tawny goes, I've NEVER understood DC's fascination with anthropomorphic animal characters. Especially apes and monkeys. Geoff Johns made Grodd cool for one issue of Flash, but he was working really hard to pull it off and I don't think even he could do it again. And here Morrison pulls out all these wonky ideas and doesn't even ATTEMPT to re-imagine them in cool ways. What the crap??

Anonymous said...

I also found this by writing "Final Crisis Sucks" on google. Man, I just got into the DC Universe after having loved the DC Animated Universe shows. I started last week with Batman: Year one, The Long Halloween, Dark Victory, Robin Year One and Batgirl Year One. All good titles. I then learned that Crisis on Infinite Earths was considered the restart to the DC Universe, so I checked out Crisis on Infinite Earths, Infinite Crisis, 52 and Final Crisis. Crisis on infinite Earths was pretty decent--dated--but decent. Infinite Crisis was ok, nothing great, but alright. 52 was amazing .. and then comes Final Crisis. I'm more than half way through it, and I was really hoping that I'd have something to look forward to at the end.. it sounds like the whole thing sucks. What the hell went wrong?

As one other user put it, it undid everything Crisis on Infinite Earths meant to resolve. Such a fucking waste of space at the Library, man.

Paeter Frandsen said...

I'd agree. Although some of the fallout from the "story" has been a big part of the DCU lately (especially as Batman is concerned), I think (hope) Final Crisis itself will go the way of the 80's DC crossover "Millennium". Don't remember that one? Yeah, that's kinda the idea.

bigcat said...

Just watched The Singing Detective by Dennis Potter. It was odd, somewhat non-linear, psychological and the plot never was resolved. Yet it was very well written and an enjoyable experience that made me think and feel. And it made me wonder if this is the type of story Morrison meant to tell but simply lacked the skill to pull off.
Morrison is a good idea man who is simply a bad author. His much lauded end to Animal Man is done with a sledge hammer where a skilled writer would use a whole chest of subtle tools. Yes I know he is a famed playwright and all the rest, but the man simply has no narrative skills and no subtly.

Paeter Frandsen said...

Thanks for the info, Joe! I didn't know any of that about Morrison.

As far as I'm concerned, I think there is a really good writer in there somewhere. I REALLY liked his initial run on JLA in the 90's. But it seems like since then he's been trying too hard to come across as profound/intellectual/post-modern or something else I can't identify. I don't mind a lack of subtlety when he's just telling cool superhero stories. But I'd agree he needs a LOT more subtlety when adding what he must think are the more "sophisticated" or "philosophical" elements to his writing.

Brady J. Frey said...

I've been an obsessive comic book reader as a kid (mostly DC), but always avoided this storyline... it seemed pretentious, and to have little weight for continuity. But comixology had a sale, so I figured what the hell.

330 pages was 329 too long, I kept hoping for a spark of magic to hit. I just came to say you're absolutely right, it sucked, and I'm glad I'm not alone on that opinion!

Paeter Frandsen said...

Thanks, Brady. Sorry you felt the sting of this series as well. Final Crisis seemed to be the kick off for the death of the DCU. It's been reborn as the New 52, but I've been very disappointed so far and have actually dropped (one at a time, over many months) all of my DC books. At this point I'm in "trade paperback mode" until DC gets back into a consistently good writing groove.