DC Comics and Freakin' ANIMALS!!

I don't get it. I just don't get why DC loves animals so much. They put capes on dogs, cats, even horses for cryin' out loud!

Even worse, they really seem to enjoy making animals talk. Ultra-humanite, Gorilla Grodd, Detective Chimp, that dude from the Omega men, G'nort. I remember a few years ago they had a series of annuals during the summer based on the concept of JLApe. That's right. The most famous heroes of the DC universe were all turned into talking ape versions of themselves.

I don't think it's funny. I don't think it's cute. It's stupid. It's just stupid.

For about one panel, Gorilla Grodd was passably cool in an issue of the Flash. But to make him even slightly cool they had him foaming at the mouth, eyes glowing red and in a human slaughtering rage. Y'know, like an animal. But as soon as he or any other animal opens it's mouth and talks, it just becomes ridiculous.

Don't ask me why I can buy into space cops that can make anything out of transparent green energy but can't suspend disbelief for talking animals. I don't really know why. Maybe I just choose not to. Maybe it just feels juvenile or silly to me for some reason. And one thing superhero comics should not be, in my opinion, is silly.

So DC, please kill this little guilty pleasure of yours (and yes, I KNOW you must feel a LITTLE guilty) and allow me to read about my favorite characters with some small amount of superficial sophistication.