THE NEW HOME FOR "PAETER'S BRAIN"!

Paeter is no longer posting to this blog. His new reviews and thoughts on geek entertainment (including all those previously posted here!) can now be found conveniently organized and archived at The Spirit Blade Underground!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night (Movie Review)




















Most know Brandon Routh as Clark Kent and Superman from Bryan Singer's "Superman Returns". Sam Huntington played Jimmy Olson in that movie and had a couple of great comedic moments bouncing his performance off of Routh's straight man act. The two are paired up again in what I would describe as "Comedic Supernatural Noir".

"Dylan Dog: Dead Of Night" is about a former supernatural investigator (Routh) who has been out of the game for a few years but is pulled back in as those in his life are suddenly harmed by the supernatural world of werewolves, vampires and zombies. It's a modern story but has a dash of 1930's noir in that Dylan bridges scenes with darkly intoned, past-tense narration.

The performances by Routh and Huntington make the movie very watchable, despite the dialogue feeling dry and uncreative. The two leading men work great together, and while Huntington gets most of the laughs, I was pleasantly surprised by some previously unseen flavors in Routh's acting. Even so, Routh doesn't seem like the best fit for this role, despite the fact that he did a fine job. Some of the best moments in the movie were Sam Huntington's scenes dealing with a particular bit of misfortune he's experiencing that I won't spoil. I think an entire movie could have been built around his character's plot. Great stuff.

The visual effects and makeup leave something to be desired. The monsters all look pretty "rubbery" and the digital morphing effects look a lot like digital morphing effects. They would have done well to follow cues from "Underworld"(another relatively small vampire/werewolf movie) and use shadows to conceal flaws in both visual effects and makeup. As it is, they showed me too much and I found myself being distracted by technical flaws.

The movie has some great new takes on the myths of vampires, werewolves and zombies. Some of them are comedic and others are just original ideas that I found welcome. But I didn't find the movie scary, despite a number of attack/action scenes, which would have helped the sometimes sluggish pace.

I don't remember anything that could contribute to worthwhile, real-world discussion after the movie. It's just pure escapist entertainment for hardcore fans of the genre, who will enjoy checking this one out. If you're not starving for vampires, werewolves and zombies, you can easily afford to wait for this on video or tv.

Rated PG-13 for sequences of creature violence and action, language including some sexual references, and some drug material.

Quality: 8.0/10

Relevance: 5.0/10


For information about my scoring system, visit- spiritblade.net/reviewscores

Or listen to this review this weekend at- spiritblade.net/podcast

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Batman Soundtrack You Never Hear























I've got the soundtrack to Batman stuck in my head. It's been there for a few days now, though I haven't heard it in years. And it's not the soundtrack you're thinking of. Danny Elfman had no hand in it (neither did Prince, thank goodness) and you won't hear it thundering under Christian Bale, either. It's not the campy Adam West theme or even the awesome music from the 90's animated series.

No, I'm talking about the music for the video game adaptation of the first Tim Burton Batman movie. The game was released on NES with only a rough connection to the plot of the movie. The game ripped off a number of elements from Ninja Gaiden, but in all the right ways. And for some reason, although the soundtrack didn't pull a single bar from Danny Elfman's score, it stands out as very memorable. Even hearing it in my head makes me want to blow the dust out of my cartridge for another run through 8-bit Gotham City.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Taco Night!













I used to say that Lasagna was my favorite food. I think that's still true. Especially my mom's Lasagna. But I don't know that I could eat it for every meal, day after day, week after week.

I think I could maybe do that with tacos, though. Tacos from anywhere and everywhere. Taco Bell, home-made or fancy authentic establishment. It doesn't really matter. I want any and all tacos. And tonight is taco night in the Frandsen home.

You'd think that since I do all the cooking we could have taco night every night. But in additional to loving tacos, I also love my wife quite a bit.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Help Me Out By Playing Free Video Games!











In just a few weeks, I will be officially launching The Summer Of Free on The Spirit Blade Underground Podcast. This summer, my primary focus will be on highlighting cool free video games available online. Specifically, video games that most anyone can play, even with relatively old computers.

I've located a few sites with some great looking browser-based games and a few others with a retro gaming vibe that hardly requires any performance power. But there's no way I'll be able to go through all of these games myself in time to be of any use to you!

I need some volunteers who are willing to go to a specific website for me (which I will provide) and try out a handful of games for about 30 minutes each and then write or call in to me with their first impressions for any of those games that are actually worth checking out. If I get even just three people to help me out, that's about 15 games that have been checked out and given a fair shot, any number of which might turn out to be great options for those of us who want to save some money over the next few months!

And the idea is that it will be fun for you, too! If you have a particular kind of game you like to play, I can easily assign you those types of games to check out so that you don't have to wade through a bunch of war strategy games or action RPGs when that's not your thing.

If you're interested, get in touch with me ASAP! The Summer Of Free is almost here!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Monsters (Movie Review)





Last year I started seeing full page ads in my comics for a horror movie called "Monsters", but due to its limited theatrical release and equally limited presence at Blockbuster and Redbox thereafter, I wasn't able to see it... until now.

"Monsters" is an independent film made with only two real actors, the rest being locals who the actors improvised with to get a natural response/performance. The budget for the movie is estimated at between $15,000 and $800,000, which is amazing considering what was accomplished.

The story centers on a photographer who is ordered by his newspaper to escort the head honcho's daughter home to America from Mexico. The catch is that giant alien life forms came to earth 6 years ago, and much of Mexico is part of a quarantine zone in which the massive creatures roam free and sometimes attack humans.

What makes this movie especially unique is its equal blend of romantic drama and alien horror. You might find it listed under "horror" or "sci-fi" on Amazon or Netflicks, but much of the movie is about two characters thrown together who begin to develop a romantic relationship amid challenging circumstances. The aliens are creepy and there are a couple of great suspense scenes, but there is virtually no blood or even much violence. If you're expecting the pacing of your average alien horror flick, you'll be disappointed. If you're looking for a romantic drama involving exotic world travel, you'll be freaked out. It's not fully either of those, but a 50/50 blend of both. The pacing might be just a tiny bit slow near the middle, and things might seem a bit too "quiet" at times since the score is so sparse, but otherwise everything moves along nicely. This is the movie to ease your girlfriend/wife into sci-fi/horror flicks with.

Performances by the two leads are very good, though not fantastic. Especially impressive are some of the supporting characters. They don't have any of those "actor-vibes" that seasoned screen actors give off and that we take for granted. They are just real people. At first, I thought it was some amazing casting that brought to light some of the best talent available in Mexican cinema. It wasn't until watching the included documentary that I learned these people weren't actors, just cleverly directed/edited locals. (Wow!)

The special effects are also very solid and on par with anything a big budget flick would normally churn out. Many of the best effects might go unnoticed, unless you remember that Mexico has NOT been ravaged by giant alien attacks. Decimated buildings and the giant wreckage of vehicles pepper the scenery with fantastic realism. There may not be as much quantity in alien visual effects shots, but the quality is certainly there.

Although I don't think the movie is likely to inspire much worthwhile discussion, the subject of fidelity is one that could be put on the table. Both of the lead characters demonstrate a lack of commitment in relationships while moving closer to each other as the movie progresses. He is willing to have a one night stand with a random woman when the female lead doesn't respond to his advances, and she seems unwilling or unable to talk to her fiancee(an off-screen character we never see) about the obvious reluctance she has to move forward with their wedding.

"Monsters" may find it's audience more with those who appreciate the unique pacing and genre-blending possible in independent film. If you pepare your expectations a little, this is one movie that is really worth seeing.

Rated R for language.

Quality: 8.5/10

Relevance: 7.0/10

For information about my scoring system, visit- spiritblade.net/reviewscores

Or listen to this review this weekend at- spiritblade.net/podcast

Monday, April 18, 2011

Playing Catching Up With The DS Lite



As I mentioned last week, I recently purchased a DS Lite. (Though I'm still waiting for it to arrive.) I haven't owned a hand held gaming console since the original, bulky, black and white Game Boy (which I still have). So I've been missing out on a world of games for the Game Boy Advance and Nintendo DS.

Last night I ordered Dragon Quest 4 and Castlevania: Circle Of The Moon from Amazon, and a local bookstore has several 6 dollar copies of Golden Sun. One thing I've appreciated from afar about the Game Boy Advance and the Nintendo DS is their natural lack of graphical capability compared to TV consoles. The reason is because the kinds of game play experiences I've enjoyed became altered in ways that were not always beneficial during the transition from 2D to 3D games in the late 90's.

Turn based RPGs became more and more scarce and are considered antiquated now. (Although I still LOVE a good turn based RPG!) And side scrollers are all but extinct on store shelves, finding their home mostly as online downloadable games for consoles today.

Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night is one of my favorite action rpgs, because it gave me the feel of a side-scrolling action game, but with the ability to level-grind my way out of combat that is too difficult for my poor hand-eye coordination skills. The Castlevania games that followed "SotN" were mostly 3D and/or lacking the level-grind option. The Castlevania games I was meant to enjoy were only being made for Nintendo's portable consoles.

So now the flood gates have opened and I've already counted about a dozen games that I will probably play my way through over the next few years. And even some of the rarer gems like Dragon Quest 5 are hovering at around a $50 price point online (equal or less than what I'm used to paying for a 360 game), with most other used games at only $10-$20 or less!

My wife and I seem to travel about two times a year. And with my side job substitute teaching, I also have an hour or so to kill on those days where I can't always work on things related to Spirit Blade Productions.

All that to say that I think I see a whole lot of good gaming going on in my future!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Becoming A "DS" Gamer




For years I've watched a number of RPGs come out on the Nintendo DS without having the cash on hand to justify the purchase of the hand held gaming console. And with the financially conservative approach that we take on Christmas and Birthday gifts, it was never something I would end up getting that way either. Besides, in most cases I've had enough games to play on standard gaming consoles.

But as the years have passed and the DS RPG catalog has grown with games I've had to force myself not to think about, my interest in the system has continued to swell, even up to now, when the console is in its twilight years.

Suddenly, after my recent birthday, I found myself with a rare combination of "cash-in-card" and gift card gifts that made the purchase of a DS possible! So I'm extremely stoked to be getting a used (but "Like New") DS sent my way via Amazon next week!

Since placing my order, I've been ravenously consuming online video reviews of various RPGS from various franchises such as Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy and Golden Sun. Where to begin! So many to play. So much turn-based goodness! And these games are so cheap!

I think... yep. I just peed myself a little bit.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Your Highness (Movie Review)





I'm going to keep this review fairly brief because frankly, I really don't want to spend any more time thinking about "Your Highness" than I have to.

What could have been a comedic love letter to fantasy movies of the 80's turned out to be a picture of the genre with poop smeared all over it.

"Your Higness" stars Danny McBride as the disgruntled, jealous brother of beloved and heroic first-born prince Fabious (James Franco). The solid cast, which also includes Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman, can't save this movie from continual, out of context, heavy handed and childishly crude sexual humor. The script reads like a strange blend of ancient high fantasy and modern 8th grade locker room. I'm not one for crude sexual humor to begin with, but it seems to me they could have gotten more laughs if their jokes had been more subtle, accomplished through innuendo while staying in a more consistent high fantasy tone. As it is, the jokes invade the movie over and over again like Chris Farley in a china shop. Hmm. Bad comparison. Chris Farley in a china shop would actually be funny.

McBride, who wrote the script, said jokingly in an interview recently that the humor of film might be enhanced by the use of drugs. I would imagine he's right and that a drug induced haze may be the only way to make these jokes seem the least bit clever.

There are two scenes that showcase some cool, slightly nostalgic looking spell-casting visual effects. These were a lot of fun to watch. And the creepy witch "mothers" in service to the evil wizard add some unsettling weirdness that I welcomed. But the heavy handed gags and a few minutes of brief "on and off" nudity that served no purpose except to objectify actresses ended up being just too much.

As you can imagine, I think you'd have to work insanely hard to have anything worthwhile to talk about after this movie. I'm really wishing I'd never seen it. But if I can steer anyone else from it, I guess that's something.

Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, pervasive language, nudity, violence and some drug use.

Quality- 4.0/10

Relevance- 3.0/10


For information about my scoring system, visit- spiritblade.net/reviewscores

Or listen to this review this weekend at- spiritblade.net/podcast

Monday, April 11, 2011

I Can Work Again! (My Mom Rocks!)




Since our second son was born in October, my wife and I have been struggling to develop a schedule that allows each of us to work from home. By nature, her work cannot be done while also watching a baby and three year old. Unfortunately, mine "technically" can. But it is EXTREMELY frustrating.

For a couple of months now I've been heading closer and closer to some kind of breaking point, and in recent days, after an exhausting vacation in which our boys sucked even more of my life force than usual, I've been running on emergency reserves of patience and have even experienced "system failure" a few times, resulting in words to my oldest son that I wish I could take back.

Thankfully, today is the first day that our oldest son is being watched by my mom, who lives just five minutes from us. We've been planning this for a little while, and now it is finally happening. My mom will be watching him for about 4 hours, twice a week, during a time in his schedule when he usually needs lots of attention. In fact, that's where he is right now.

Wow! What an amazing thing it is to be able to work without the TV playing, or some kid needing to show and tell every five minutes! I'd nearly forgotten the incredible joys of uninterrupted productivity!

Thanks so much, Mom!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Dragon Age 2- Final Impressions



After about 28 hours of game play, I've finished my first play through of Dragon Age 2 on the Xbox 360. The thoughts I expressed in my "first impressions post" still hold true when all is said and done, though I feel like I can add some more that may be helpful to someone considering this title for future purchase.

In short, Dragon Age 2 is the result of Bioware trying to fix a bunch of things about Dragon Age: Origins that weren't broken. Inventory management is present virtually in name only, removing a significant strategic element of game play. The stakes are incredibly low when compared to the events of Dragon Age: Origins and the story has very little motivating it or tying quests together. Combat has been streamlined, resulting in less interesting or powerful-looking spell animations and the constant need to hammer on "A" to keep combat moving makes it impossible to move the camera around and enjoy what cool animations are present.

Although Flemeth makes an intriguing appearance early on and once more a few hours in, she is never heard from after that. No sign or hint of Morrigan, either. At the end of the game, a larger story is implied to be at work, making me wish the end of Dragon Age 2 was only the halfway point of a single, complete game. The experience ends up feeling more like a boatload of DLC or the opening 1/4th of a single game rather than the main content of a complete RPG or the first part of a trilogy.

An additional bug in the game prevented me from ever recruiting one of the main companions featured in the trailers for this game: Isabella. Bummer, since she was one of the few ties to the first game, something this story needed more of.

I think Bioware would have done well to make some of their significant changes optional. For example, instead of only allowing me to adjust the armor for my main character, put an "auto-equip" option in the game instead of assuming that process doesn't interest me. And instead of making me repeatedly hammer on "A" to continue attacking, give me the option to select "auto-attack", as I understand is possible on the PC version.

Finally, give me a story that is more far-reaching in consequence. I'd rather have a cookie cutter "save the world" story with strong character subplots than a small scale main plot with only peripheral epic consequence. And how about a game that lasts at LEAST 30 hours. I got 20 hours of game play from one play through of the EXPANSION for Dragon Age: Origins, and only 28 hours out of Dragon Age 2. I'm sure missing Isabella had some effect on my playtime, but I took on every quest I could otherwise and still only logged 28 hours. (Both of my play-throughs on DA:O were close to 70 hours with all DLC, though the total time added by DLC was certainly no more than 10 hours.

As I said before, there are certainly many elements that make this game addictive and enjoyable. But unlike so many of Bioware's RPGs, I can't think of a reason I'd want to play through this one again or spend any money on DLC that isn't dirt cheap.

Last night, after finishing Dragon Age 2, without skipping a beat (well I did play the awesome demo for "Torchlight") I started up a game of "Dragon Age: Origins, Awakening" for my second play through. I'd recommend that most Dragon Age fans do the same and wait to see if a future version of Dragon Age 2, which includes all DLC, will be a more compelling buy.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Awesome Parenting




My wife and I, along with our two sons (3 1/2 years and 5 months old) went on vacation last week to visit family and decided to showcase our awesome parenting skills by locking our two boys, along with our keys, in the rental car.

Holly made phone calls and did some running around while I stayed by the window next to my older son's seat and conversed and played games with him.

Both boys were strapped into their seats, so at least they couldn't get into trouble, and while the younger one cried for a bit, he didn't cry for more than 10-15 minutes before falling asleep. (At home we let him cry for as long as 30 minutes once he's down for the night. So this was nothing.)

My older son did just fine. In fact, he even asked me to go away a few times so he could play by himself. (Sounds a lot like his dad!)

45 minutes later and my wife returned with a key from the local dealer that got us back in the car. All in all a stressful, though harmless experience that reminded us (after days of being stuck driving with two needy, restless children) that we do in fact love our sons a little bit...